To be the star of your own story…you have to stop playing “best supporting actor”!

One of my favorite movies contains one of those moments…an “aha moment” that changes forever the course of the star’s live. The movie is called The Holiday and stars Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black.

The story is about two women who meet online and decide to trade homes for the holiday to escape their bad relationship patterns.

One of the main characters, Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet), is a society column editor for The Daily Telegraph in London. Iris has been hopelessly, pathetically in love with office mate Jasper Bloom for over three years, even though she broke up with him after he cheated on her with another girl in the office.

Still stringing her along to the very last minute, Jasper announces his engagement to the other girl at the office Christmas party. Iris is a broken, sobbing, inconsolable mess!

Getting away seems like the perfect solution.

Iris and Arthur

While in LA, Iris meets an elderly neighbor named Arthur and learns that he was an Emmy-winning script writer during the Golden Age of Hollywood.

He is a retired man and a widower and lives a solitary life, so she asks if he would like to accompany her for dinner. He amazes Iris with dashing tales of the Golden Age of Hollywood and asks why she chooses to be alone spending a time with such an old man.

When she tells him about her pining love for the cheating and engaged Jasper, Arthur delivers an incredibly kind and poignant wake up call.

He tells Iris that in movies generally there is a leading lady and there is “the best friend”. Iris, who is supposed to be the leading lady, is behaving like “the best friend”.

Arthur says:

WHY are you playing the supporting actress in your own movie? YOU are the leading lady! Go out there and BE a leading lady!

Iris is blown away, and you feel the moment.

Oh…and the Cameron Diaz romance with beautiful Jude Law is pretty fabulous, too.

We spend a lot of time playing the supporting actor in our own movie don’t we? I did it until I was 30!

Playing small, scurrying around for someone else, INSISTING “I don’t mind”, while I worked like a slave and cut my own hair with kitchen scissors to “save the money for something more worthy” than me.

And in some ways, I didn’t mind because being a bigger bolder ME seems scary and totally foreign. At least I knew exactly what to do every day, and if I didn’t someone told me!

But after a while, it wore on me…it wears on you doesn’t it? It’s exhausting to NOT play yourself, draining and really no fun at all.

And btw, other people will usually NOT mind at all! They will say “thank you” and just keep letting you scurry and sacrifice…cause it’s all working for them! HA!

I wish I had met a wise, old Arthur to wake me up! But my moment happened while I was pregnant and I realized I was about to become a role model for playing a supporting actress in the movie of my live.

I could not do that to my child, I HAD to become a leading lady so she could someday.

So, have you had your moment yet?

Did you listen?

It’s time right now, maybe that’s why you are reading this! STEP UP into the leading role!

Yes, it takes courage, YES, there can be more “at risk”, YES there will be challenges and it is so worth it.

To feel ALIVE, empowered and sparkling on the center stage of your movie…letting the cameras follow YOU…that is the most unbelievable feeling in the world.

And when you share the starring miracle that is you, the whole world (your audience) takes a journey with you joy, passion and empowerment!

XOXO
Margaret