Today we are going deep! It’s time to put on the headlamp and seek something hidden, secret and important in the past and clear it the hell out.
Why?
Because this particular thing BECAME the reason (and evidence) that creates a wall of INNER resistance to standing out and being seen.
And you know how PASSIONATE, well maybe even a little crazy, I get about wanting you to step out and start being SEEN more.
(Otherwise how can you impact more people and earn more money?)
Do you have one of these hidden little things? And if so are you up for REALLY going there with some intensive tapping?
Because … when you take off Harry Potter’s “Cloak of Invisibility” and let it go…this can change your life!
(and I don’t think I am overselling that!)
This was something I saw in even the most brilliant accomplished people and it’s why I created the 7 Levels Program…because as you are about to discover, your nervous system AND power centers are drastically impacted by this “hidden thing”.
Okay let’s start with the key question…
In your family growing up was it safer for you to:
1. Be a bit invisible, not seen or stand out or
2. Be MORE of something to be safe like perfect, happy, smart, selfless
If you were to stand out and just be you or ask to be seen and heard, would that have brought to you some level of criticism, anger, dismissal, attack?
Now I want you to imagine you could watch a movie in your mind of a scene like this playing out…an event from your past that really sums up “it’s not safe to be seen”.
So picture the scene like you’re watching a movie – there you are. Notice how old you are, and notice who else is in that picture. Notice you can even see or feel or hear in that picture what they were saying, or the look on their face that showed clearly that that somehow that you were shining or standing out too much.
We’re going to tap on two different aspects of this, because this is truly a trauma, even if there was not overt abuse, this was a trauma for you!
You see my definition of a trauma is that it’s any event that changed the way you felt about yourself, about the world. A moment in which you learned something and made a big decision about how you were going to operate from that moment forward.
So when we look at the event there are two aspects: there’s all the emotion in the real trauma that was there, the sadness, the hurt, the confusion, the shock, the anger.
Then there’s the other side of it which was, ‘I put my foot down energetically that day and said I’m never going to show myself again!’
So there’s the emotions of it, and then there’s recognizing you made a little vow that day. That means your nervous system gets wired to react instantaneously with all those emotions when the opportunity to step up and stand out appears…AND the vow will shut down your power centers and you will run the other way!
That is why clearing this is completely life-changing!
Okay, think about your story just like if it was a little movie clip so we can start tapping and clear this from your system!
Karate Chop Point:
Even though I have this old story, and I can still see it, I can still feel it, the shock, the confusion, the hurt, I learned that day nobody wants me to shine. I accept all my feelings about this.
Even though I have this old story, and I can still feel it, the sadness, the anger, I was just a kid, nobody wanted to see me shine. They refused to see me. I accept how I feel about it.
Even though I have this old story, and it changed me, I felt something that day, and it really hurt, and I made a decision that day, and I’m still refusing to show myself. I’m just going to honor all the ways this protected me, and all the ways it’s sabotaging me.
Tapping Through the Points:
There I am
Shocked
Hurt
Blindsided
Confused
Why are they doing this?
Why won’t they see me?
Why won’t they let me shine?
It’s safer to be invisible.
I’m going to stay small
Behind the scenes
It’s terrifying to stand out
They refuse to see me
If I show myself,
They’ll attack me
They’ll destroy me
They will annihilate me
It’s not safe to stand out
That’s what I’ve learned
There I was
That younger version of me
So confused
So sad
So traumatized
I didn’t deserve it
I deserved so much better
But there I was
I totally honor
How hard it was for me.
Okay, breathe and if you feel very emotional, it’s okay, just tap through it again ’til you feel a bit calmer about it and the event feels more distant.
Now imagining you are seeing the “movie clip” of this event again. Now look closely to see how in that moment you made a big decision about how you would do things going forward.
You made a decision about those people around you and you made a decision that let you take back some control and safety by vowing: “I’m not going to stand out like that again. I’m never going to let you see the real me cause my flaws will show. I’m never going to let you hurt me again.”
And so we make a vow to hold back our true selves and hold back from being seen in a bigger way.
This can be to protect ourselves OR it can be to get even – meaning hold those involved responsible by always showing the evidence of this old event. (Or both.)
So it’s best to deal directly with both of those results because here is what happens:
1. Your nervous system will instantly blast out fear or shame through your system when you go to stand out…
2. You will very strangely find yourself losing your will/resolve/determination and/or sabotaging any progress you have made because one or more power centers (chakras) are shutting down.
See how much it helps to understand that??? and YEAH we can shift it.
Here is your round 2 of tapping! (told you this was going to be a lot!)
Karate Chop Point:
Even though this happened to me, I totally honor that I survived, and one of the ways I survived was to make a vow to hide myself, to judge them, and hold myself back, or to go in battle with them, and prove them wrong, and I’m still in battle. I’m just going to honor the conflict in this.
Even though I learned that it’s scary, dangerous, terrifying to stand out, to really be me, to speak my truth, my brilliance, I also honor that I took back some control, by refusing to show myself anymore, and I’m still refusing. I took back some control by going into battle about this. It’s the only thing I could do. I was a kid. I totally honor the conflict in this for me, because I’m all grown up now, and I’m still playing behind the scenes, and I’m still getting angry, because the world won’t recognize me.
Tapping Through the Points:
I made a decision
A vow
Way back then
That I’m going to withhold me
I’m going to hold back my essence
My brilliance
And be who they wanted me to be
But internally
I was going to judge them
And battle about this.
I gave them what they wanted
But I never forgave them
And I’m still battling about it
I’m still refusing
To show myself
I’m still getting even
I’m still showing them
And it’s costing me.
I honor this old coping mechanism
That gave me a sense of control
A little bit of control
When I was powerless
But I’m all grown up now
And I really want to own my light
I really want to own my power
I want to shine!
I want to be seen!
I want to make an impact!
And this conflict,
It’s got to go
I’m open to healing this
To blessing it
Forgiving it
And letting it go.
So I can live MY life purpose
And that definitely
Involves SHINING in a bigger way
Being seen for my awesomeness
And make the impact
I know I can make!
Rockstars step up into the spotlight
And I am a rockstar!
Okay, breathe and now jump up and down, dance around, pointing at yourself saying, “rockstar here!” and let that fun energy flow.
Because YES, you are a rockstar!
Xoxo
Margaret
P.S. If you missed jumping in on The 7 Levels of Wealth Manifestation but want in and to be with me live on the next Q&A call, send Kimberly an email at support@margaretlynchraniere.com.
Thank you for this, Margaret- so happy to be on this journey of The 7 Levels of Manifestation!
THANK YOU SO MUCH! This exercise helped me so very much. Omg! You are so awesome, and even though I always knew I was, I am definitely going to show the world without holding back. I’m sure I will be a blessing to others. Thanks again!
I wonder how many of us went through this because our parents wanted to “live through us”, to get the schooling they didn’t have, the job they didn’t get, to be the athlete they weren’t. Or maybe they felt that by pushing us in a “safe” direction they would be protecting us from rejection in the future. And what they created instead was a story of “I’m not good enough, strong enough, or smart enough (etc) to do what I really want to do”.
As usual you get right to the core. Thank you for being awesomely you!
As I began the tapping, I felt like I was going to die, literally not going to be able to breathe, and that I could perish on the spot, right here in my own living room. I was gasping, weeping, nauseated, my head was spinning. Even though I knew it wasn’t true, I felt that I may get stuck in that space and never be able to get out. I forced myself to continue thru the tapping session and repeated it a few times until I felt that I was more in control and that I could maintain staying in my body.
The experience I remembered:
When I was just past two, my mother died unexpectedly. I am at her funeral, which was the end of November in Wyoming, cold, windy, desolate in a tiny rural cemetery, late afternoon because there had been another service earlier in the day 60 miles away. No one had thought to put a coat on me and I was cold, and mad! My mother would never let me be cold like this, where is she? why isn’t she taking care of me?
Then the unthinkable happened: Strangers picked me up, carried me to a car, put me in the back cubby and drove away. It was a late 30s coup and that back end looked cavernous to me. As we drove it soon became dark, which frightened me even more. Terrified, I barely dared to breathe. So frightened that In order to escape I decided to leave my body so I could hide. I clearly remember the sensation of bouncing as I hit the roof of the car, and I looked down at my sleeping body and felt confused, but much safer. The two adults ignored me and I felt I was successful in hiding from them.
I don’t remember the rest of that 60 mile drive, but I do remember the rest of my childhood that I could always leave my body and fly around the ceiling, or the yard, or the car, and be safe; and remember any time I felt uncertain or that I didn’t belong or that I wasn’t good enough, I could quickly become invisible and vanish to the ceiling or even leave the room or building.
The coping mechanism of dissociation had been firmly established. I will soon be 72 and there are times where I still struggle if I’m under pressure or in a new situation, and though I can grab myself back now I have the feeling that I’m disposable and don’t deserve to even have a body to live in and I could easily be thrown away. These feelings are so familiar I can almost put my hand on them and feel a texture.
I perceived this event as a kidnapping. In one flash I lost my parents, siblings, grand parents and great grandparents, my home, my toys, my clothes, every thing and anything that was familiar to me and I disappeared – no one knew where I was or would know where to find me.
I have a lump in the pit of my stomach from relating this. I did the tapping a few times, and it feels more distant to me, however anyone could still blow me away like a candle flame at this moment because I don’t really exist – I vanished.
I am going to repeat this tapping session over the next few days until I feel stronger, and visible, and viable. Right now I feel too weak and vulnerable to approach it again, I’m using all my energy to remain in my body and not zip out to any unseen place where I can feel safe again. I have a damaged heart, and it is feeling the strain right now.
As a footnote, these people adopted me; they were very dysfunctional. They used threats as a parenting tool to get me to “mind.” Things like, “We’ll take you to the plains and leave you for the coyotes to eat.” “You were given away once, you can be given away again.” The adoptive mother would get angry, run a bathtub full of water, and hold my head under water until I stopped struggling. She also sexually molested me to make me “clean” all the way up to 10 years old. I was spanked, belittled, ridiculed, screamed at, pointed out as an adopted child (therefore not belonging) my entire childhood. I lived terrified, and out of my body most of the time to cope with that fear. I developed at least three personalities as an adult, all with wildly different personalities and behaviors. I haven’t seen the others for many years now, but i still deal with severe health problems, which there have been a string of through my whole life (still trying to get out of the body to where i can’t be seen?)
God! This has been a heavy burden. If this tapping can eliminate the need that rests in every cell of my body to vanish, perhaps I can live out the remainder of my life in peace.
I really did vanish this year. In February I left my homes, my family, my belongs, my country and moved to Ecuador, where I’ve found peace and calm and beauty like I’ve never been able to experience. I didn’t realize until the end of this tapping session how similar it was to what has had ahold of me all my life, but that seems, so far, to have a different outcome. I have been entirely unsuccessful learning Spanish, so. . . I can remain quite invisible in the community, even though i stay in my body. I’m eager to pull out the lessons and see if I’ll be able to retain the information now that I know it is safe to be seen. I know also that 2 years is the age of language acquisition and I feel that has created a block to my learning a second language. Whew! as I type this I can feel that if I can’t speak the language, no one can smack me in the face for saying something they think I shouldn’t. Holy Cow! Some things never go away. I’m sitting here, a rational adult, feeling and thinking like a terrified child. What a gift it would be to never think those thoughts again. I feel great resistance building up because, among all the other challenges of transitioning to a new culture, it seems like one more unknown to deal with, one more change, one more way that I might lose control and not be able to scamper into hiding. I can become invisible now without leaving my body simply by uttering, “No habla Espanol.” Cruel how it can still interfere with trusting being me and feeling competent and secure.
I think I have a FEW more sessions awaiting me.
Thank you for making this available.
Something struck me as I was ready to sign off: I’ve never liked being in a photograph because I didn’t like to be seen. I’d never connected that until just now.
Thank you Margaret. I remember being so hurt that I told my mother I wanted to go into the convent and become a nun. I was the only child and my mother wasn’t having that. I didn’t tell her where the hurt was coming from and I have buried it so deep that I have forgotten, BUT I remember being terribly hurt because in some way I was not accepted. It explains why I go to a certain point and think I have to be perfect before I can present myself in a bigger way although I KNOW I am enough. It certainly helps knowing where this is stemming from and knowing how I interpreted it meant stepping quietly to avoid being hurt.
Dear Margaret, this is all, all of you wonderful and I thank you from my heart.
Dear God bless and stay healthy and happy and beautiful receives greetings from Croatian!
Whoa! That really opened can of worms. For more than half a century I have been practicing invisibility. It is a relief to realise how deep the hurt was and that I can release all that fear, pain and shame.
Thank you
Great tapping exercise Margaret! I appreciate that it was written out (instead of video) so that we could take as much time as needed to get into our past stories, and do some quality tapping! Thank you!
I tried your program and found out that I don’t want to exist. But the event is to basic to get rid of with tapping. I have to live with the insight and simply build better patterns above the old
Thank you margaret ,I am new in tapping ,really liked that although it was emotional and hard I would
like to continue on this road.
Thank you Margaret. You have a knack for finding and un-earthing those tender spots I didn’t even realize were still there. Or maybe never recognized in the first place. The skills you share with us are a blessing we can apply to so many other areas that need light. You are appreciated !
Thank you Margaret! This exercise brought up things I had totally forgot about from my childhood. I realized that I have been hiding to stay “safe”. It’s amazing that at fifty six years of age how old trash from our past can still be inside. This one helped. Thanks again.
MArgaret! I wish you had an email address available for us to send feedback and thanks directly!!
I’ve just done the 4th Class of your Tapping for Miracles series and it has been so transformative. Thank you!!
Thank you so much for this, Margaret! it brought up things that I thought I’d just have to live with for the rest of my life, not to mention the consequences… This has been so liberating! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
Thanks Margaret, I was brought up to be seen and not heard so am really going deep with clearing these feelings that still block me at 52!